I chose to go with a different chemo protocol than the one my doctor recommended. Yes, I know that was bold, but it’s my body and I wanted to make sure that I was getting what was right for ME!
After two chemos my tumor reduced 50%, after two more, it was completely gone as evidenced from the MRI. I was cautioned that just because the MRI showed that the tumor was 
gone, no one would be completely sure until the surgeon went in. I then had a choice to continue with two more rounds of chemo or go straight to surgery. Here it was again, how much did I really need? And how much would be too much for my body to recover from. I chose to go straight to surgery.
The surgery went well in terms of the tumor in the breast. It was completely gone, however; the surgeon found quite a bit of active cancer in my lymph nodes, which hadn’t shown up in any of the MRIs. My doctor’s verdict – 15 more chemos! No way I thought, so I consulted two other oncologists and to my dismay all disagreed on what was the right decision, from no more chemos, to 15 more! Here I was again, at the crossroads.
The day I had to make the decision I walked into my oncologist’s office to find it was standing room only. It’s a business I thought. And then while my doctor was discussing the other oncologist’s reports, his voice faded away and I saw a bull’s eye on the wall with the doctors just throwing darts at it. They were throwing everything they had, “just to make sure.”
I’ve been told that the immune system must be able to fight the last 10% of a battle against a serious disease. If the immune system is so totally destroyed that it can’t come back in the home stretch, there is no hope of recovery. Whether or not this statistic is true or not, I don’t know, but I do know that I had to make the final decision as to what was right for me. And so can you. For me, the decision was no more chemos.
I’ve talked to many women who feel overwhelmed and confused by all the decisions they have to make. Many don’t feel they have a say in the matter. I’m telling you, you do! There is something within each of us that knows exactly what is right for us in any given situation. Be quiet, listen for its soft voice from within, your “Lola”, because I’m telling you it is there – that wise, magnificent, and powerful being that you are. Let your Lola out!
Trust yourself!
Diane
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